Add To Cart Add To Cart. It was a win-win for all of us. Not knowing what he was up to or where he was going, the nurse’s curiosity was piqued, and she let him lead the way while holding his waist from behind to keep him safe. September 29, 2009 2 comments Article Spiritual. What about you? TJ’s heart surgery took around six hours. Jesus has conquered the grave! A mother's pursuit of God while she waits for heaven, 1 Corinthians 15:55“O death, where is thy sting?O grave, where is thy victory?”. The twisting lasted all day. On a personal level, The Ronald McDonald House was a place of refuge for me. At that moment hope sprung to life again within me. My niece, Christian, and her sweet baby, Elliott, were surprising us with a visit! Yesterday, it caught my attention, and the memories began flooding in. Post was not sent - check your email addresses! Finally, after a few years of living away, in the fall of 2017, they were unexpectedly in a good place where it was the perfect time to move back home. I believe, I will trust in You Oh oh oh (oh oh oh) Oh oh, oh oh oh oh I believe, I will trust in You Come on guys Either way, their refusal to join with me in my laughter made me laugh even more. He’s going to be fine. Despair was knocking on the door, and it was a battle to fight it off. After mulling it over, I came to the conclusion that I had never seen an owl in its natural environment. In times of valley walking, trust that God loves you and is there. Trapped Within takes readers on a journey with many ups and downs but ultimately leads them to God’s promise that our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. There are times when I long to be back in my room at the Ronald McDonald House where God was so near and TJ was within a short walking distance up the street, but God has other plans for me now. While I'm waiting Tabbed by Stacy Cline.. / ,,,,,this was done in C major ...I just changed it over to G,,,,, / [Intro] G D C x2 / [Verse 1] G D I'm waiting Em C I'm waiting on Y I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10. When TJ asked about it again, we told him we were sorry, and we reassured him we would definitely get him one soon. Many times during physical therapy, they both walked back and forth in the gym with their therapists, and as they passed by one another, they held their hands up high to give one another a high five. After diagnostic testing was completed, doctors were perplexed because according to the MRI, the part of the brain that would cause these movements didn’t show any injury. It has been a few weeks since my last post, and I’ve received some questions lately as to what’s going on in my life and why I’m not posting. Download single from Travis Greene titled “While I’m Waiting” featuring, Chandler Moore. our partners use cookies to personalize your experience, to show you ads based on your interests, and for measurement and analytics purposes. His therapist was somewhat reluctant to say he would eat again but finally gave in. While I’m Waiting is mostly a tastefully-arranged midtempo affair, though “Quest” spices things up with some astringent guitar riffage and “Our God Reins Here” aims for a brawny arena-rock sound. Archives. So, I’ve decided it’s time for an update. Travis and I stayed with TJ until we were shooed out. Many times while Chandler was living there, she expressed that she was homesick and wanted to move back to Des Moines but was unfortunately unable due to jobs and financial reasons. Chandler was married in January of 2015. While I'm waiting I will not faint I'll be running the race even while I wait I will move ahead bold and confident I'll be taking every step in obedience, yeah While I'm waiting I will serve You While I'm waiting I will worship While I'm waiting I will not faint And I will serve You while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting … There were things we didn't like but we just lived with them. The surgeon came out after it was over. Phew - it's been a doozy of a week! TJ was improving, and we were hopeful again. Days afterward, when TJ was walking down the hallway with his physical therapist for afternoon therapy, Dr. Landry, walking a short distance ahead of him, suddenly turned around and began shooting TJ with a Nerf gun which left TJ ducking, dodging, and to his therapist’s dismay, trying to chase Dr. Landry down. While I'm waiting I will serve You While I'm waiting I will worship While I'm waiting I will not faint I'll be running the race Even while I wait I'm waiting I'm waiting on You, Lord And I am peaceful I'm waiting on You, Lord Though it's not easy But faithfully, I will wait Yes, I will wait It bonds us with others, lessens pain, decreases stress, and helps us cope with sadness. This song ministers to me cause my husband don’t know the Lord and I’m waiting on my husband to give his life to Jesus. It is time I move on and tell the lessons I learned there to others. Do you sometimes feel God is silent and aloof while your heart is breaking? Buy Download $1.29. So, in other words, it was just the internal pep talk I needed to get me through a long week! I decided that no matter what lay ahead, I wasn’t going to get angry at Him and turn my back on Him but that I was going to trust Him and remain faithful. He started talking and every once in awhile could blurt out an entire sentence. Sometimes during therapy, TJ and Tom were in the gym at the same time. They loved each other, they hated each other; they fought, they made up; they were embarrassed of each other, they defended each other; they told on each other, and they covered up for each other. That was all the motivation I needed! The room was a large room and was big enough to fit a dresser, full-sized bed, large TV and entertainment center for storing TJ’s Xbox equipment, and his drum set. I didn’t know where to go from here or how to help my son who was suffering so miserably. During this hospitalization, Tom was fighting Leukemia, but he’d had a variety of health issues for many years prior. His arms were twisted over his head most days and unusable. I assumed that someone he knew from the medical staff was walking toward him, but I could not see who it was. However, because I didn’t want to intrude on her privacy, I kept to myself. We told ourselves it was just the anesthesia, and it will go away soon. I drifted off to sleep. About a year later, Tom’s Leukemia came back, and after a long, three-year, hard-fought battle, he passed away in late summer of 2015 at the age of 21. A very determined TJ, intent on a mischievous mission, walked over to the white board and erased Dr. Landry’s name with his fist. During the years her son was ill, Kelly Denham kept a journal of daily events and later brought the story to life as she processed her own healing. Doctors were unable to explain why this was happening. Rehab was a blessed time. I imagined they were either thinking that I was behaving very inappropriately for laughing at my son’s condition or that I was having a nervous breakdown and needed to be thrown in the nearest padded room immediately. I wanted so badly to talk to her. What a blessing she had been given from the Lord. We celebrate His birth with family and friends. The first thing he said was, “It was complicated.”  I caught my breath and immediately asked him, “But he’s okay; right?”   He nodded. $10.49. I knew He was with me. We just happened to be there on the same day, at the same time, and in the same building. That's a long time for anyone but especially for a baby who changes so quickly! I once again felt the hand of God guiding us. I watched the young man’s mom entering and leaving his room. Of course, being the teenage boy that he was, he didn’t show as much emotion as I hoped for, but I still think he was pleased. My son who was still cognitively all there but couldn’t swallow, open his mouth, hold his head up, sit up, had minimal control of his arms and was in a wheelchair wanted a mini fridge for his bedroom. But since coming home, all they had done together was sit in a hospital. I hope you enjoy and I'm so thankful you stopped by. God designed each one of us with an awesome ability to laugh. I started praying as I watched her leave the waiting room. Doctors were puzzled. However, because TJ had eye deficits and had trouble judging distance, they oftentimes missed each other’s hands. And quite frankly, sometimes it looks like He is doing everything wrong and we could do it better if given the opportunity. He was getting stronger and could walk on his own with just one person gently guiding him. This verse meant so much to me that it is even on the back of TJ’s headstone. That was brutal news for a sibling to hear. His arms enveloped me every day as He walked beside me. They were from Wisconsin and were quite familiar with Mayo Clinic as they had been there many times before. His eyes were pointed down, and he tilted his head back to look at us. When we couldn’t figure it out, he became agitated and upset. $10.49. Doctors felt he became low on oxygen during heart surgery and had a hypoxic brain injury or a brainstem stroke, but diagnostic studies did not match his symptoms. While I’m Waiting. A Christmas Message of Hope December 14, 2020; Trapped Within November 16, 2020; The Heart February 15, 2020; The Owl December 11, 2019 He was becoming increasingly confused. Then I became upset with myself for being so dramatic and reassured myself, “They do this all the time. The owl sitting on my fence the following morning was proof that Aiden and I had been correct about our assessment of the strange noise the night before. When she moved home and became his caregiver, she was looking forward to hanging out with her brother again and doing fun things together, like going to movies, bowling, and shopping. Not long after that, I received a text message from a friend who I hadn’t talked to in weeks. The events of the owl sighting immediately reminded me of a story I wrote about in Chapter 15: “Many years prior to TJ’s heart surgery, I read a story about a Christian woman who loved cardinals. God’s presence was so near to me at that moment, enveloping me, drawing me closer. $9.49. One morning I entered the PICU and noticed the young man’s room was full of medical staff. The doctors were very confused about what was happening to him. You need to listen to your sister. May the force be with you!” TJ would then throw his head back, make a loud humming noise, and shake his head back and forth. In its place he wrote “Dr. He started biting his tongue and lips and would squeal in pain. But what else was I supposed to do? Waiting to brought into full time music ministry for the past 7 years, waiting to have a child for the past 3 years.. waiting for the adoption of my nephew to go through for 3 years. Before & After: a Little Tykes Cozy Coupe makeover! Even Job, whom God called blameless and upright and one who feared God and shunned evil (Job 1:8), was struck with tragedy and unanswered questions while God remained silent. We were almost done. All three of us sauntered down the stairs to the bedroom together to reveal the surprise. It was a sad time. He was very sick. Life had now changed drastically for both of them and they could never go back to the way things used to be. The PICU at Mayo Clinic is in the shape of a horseshoe with patient rooms occupying the outside of the curve. Yesterday I took a picture of the Valentine’s bouquet I received from my husband. But as the hospitalization drug on and TJ’s health declined, for the first time, Chandler began to understand how stressful and exhausting it was taking care of him. The nurses told me the sickest kids are in the corner rooms because the corner rooms are the largest. We had done all we could do for him and taken him everywhere we could think of, and it was time to let him go. John Waller. I dreamed and planned but, honestly, I didn't have the courage to go for it. During that study, I learned that the Christian life wasn’t just about believing IN God, but it was about believing what God says and taking God at his Word. One person couldn’t walk alone with him anymore. I’m so thankful we have a Savior who knows the grief and pain experienced from the death of a loved one. He died on February 27, 2018. Many times since, Travis and I have wondered why, after all we had been through, God would give us so much hope in rehab only to take it away again a short time later. They briefly visited with him and then went to the OR waiting room for the long wait. “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. They thought he might have an autoimmune disease, Myasthenia Gravis, that may have been triggered during the surgery. During our visit, we spent the weekend laughing, crying, and talking about our sons and the memories they left. Because I had the same experience a couple of weeks prior, I knew what that meant: He wasn’t doing well. 5.0 out of 5 stars Great song. DOWNLOAD: Travis Greene “While I’m Waiting” Ft. Chandler Moore. What about you? But TJ didn’t want to get out, so he wrapped his arm around the shower bar and held on for dear life as she pulled and tugged. What do we do during the times when we don’t feel God near? When she tried to clean him on the right side, he moved to the left. Ten years ago we moved into this house and for ten years, we made the house work. From where he sat, he could see down the hallway, but I could not. I was really hoping and praying we would get a diagnosis and then they could fix him. On September 3, 2013 four-and-a-half months after surgery, TJ was discharged to home, but when we arrived home, after just a couple of days, he began to decline rapidly. Get it together.” However, unbeknownst to us, our descent into hell had already begun. Chorus Woah Woah Woah I believe, I will trust in You. I will serve You while I’m waiting I will worship while I’m waiting on You, Lord: 4 stories about "While I’m Waiting" Dolly King says: May 19, 2017 at 10:21 am. I sat in a seat under the windows, and TJ sat directly across from me. You have to see this!” he exclaimed. (Matthew 28:20). As the thunder rollsI barely hear You whisper through the rainI’m with youAnd as Your mercy fallsI raise my hands and praiseThe God who gives and takes away, And I’ll praise you in this StormAnd I will lift my handsThat you are who you areNo matter where I amAnd every tear I’ve criedYou hold in your handYou never left my sideAnd though my heart is tornI will praise you in this storm. TJ spent the summer of 2012 in Dallas, Texas with his oldest sister Ashley working at Trophy Club Country Club, which his brother-in-law Matt managed, as a cart attendant on the golf course. However, there were also long stretches of time when I felt alone and couldn’t feel the Lord’s presence. I may earn a small commission for finding and sharing the item(s). In the summer of 2017, we began self-paying for caregivers, and since Chandler was moving back, we struck up a deal with her to be his caregiver for a while until she found a permanent job. Tom and Janet were now just down the hall from TJ and me, and we visited them frequently. Thank you so much for supporting While I'm Waiting...! After just a few days there, his health declined from lung and intestinal infections, and he unfortunately was sent back to PICU. (Psalm 23), The God I know sent his Son Jesus to die so I could have eternal life. Why Should You Shop from Home More Often. Hello, Friday! And when she finally got his arm free, he then pushed his leg against the shower wall to brace himself so that she was unable to move him. As we walked down the hallway to the waiting room, fear suddenly overcame me. His testimony during that season is powerful, and he is now prosperous and reaping rewards for his faithfulness. I responded, “Well, he asked for a mini fridge for his bedroom at home this morning.”  And then I added, “But I don’t know what he thinks he’s going to put in it because he can’t swallow anything.” And at that moment the ridiculousness of what our lives had become hit me, and I began to laugh uncontrollably. We had gotten through it. Like any 2-year-old, Dylan loved to jump in the pool and have Uncle TJ catch him over and over again, and by the end of the summer, Dylan grew brave enough to jump in, be caught, and then promptly sink to the bottom of the pool with Uncle TJ only to shoot back up again. While I wait While I'm waiting I'm getting stronger My faith is rising, yeah, and I will run on (hey) While I'm waiting I'm lifting up on wings as eagles I believe (hey) I will trust in You. Recently, my husband Travis encouraged me in a round-about way to get back to writing. I’ve heard it said that the death of a child is one of the hardest things a person can ever go through. They raised hamsters together, planned practical jokes to play on their father, and spun cars in circles on Ashworth Road when they were teenagers, which I didn’t find out about until TJ’s funeral. I was terrified and physically sick from the intense fear that gripped me day and night, but I knew I had a choice to make. As we were leaving the room, I turned around to take one last look at him. City of Peace Media released the album on August 21, 2015. The only time he received relief was when he slept at night. Faith is tested, tears are shed, and grief is shared, bringing readers full circle to the encouraging hope of God’s healing. A couple of weeks after arriving at Mayo Clinic, a young man was admitted into the other corner room next to TJ’s. It was a place where I could escape the stress of the hospital for just a moment and collect my thoughts and center them on God. Crazy Faith. One day Chandler gave TJ a shower, and he was irritated with her. Whenever TJ was in the hospital, we generally never left him alone because communication with the nursing staff was very difficult, so Chandler took the evening caregiver shift. After TJ died Travis told me to take a year off to grieve before going back to work. I am very grateful for the friends the Lord has given me to help lessen the pain. “But as for me, it is good to be near God.I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge;I will tell of all your deeds.” Psalm 73:28. An Elf Kindness Challenge + free printables! We ate lunch at the Canadian Honker, took coffee breaks at the Caribou across the street, and once in awhile went for ice cream. Definitely made me look back and realize they really are happiest when they are where they feel they belong. Her wedding venue was our family room. He enjoyed joking around with his doctors and therapists and was especially fond of tormenting his pediatric physiatrist, Dr. Landry. If we always feel God’s presence and know all the answers, then how would our faith ever grow? It was a beautiful, intimate wedding. We felt incredibly sorry for him for the pain and suffering he was going through, and we constantly felt like we were failing him. Truthfully, I was a bit bummed on Homecoming night seeing all the pictures on social media of all the kids and their dates. (Jeremiah 31:3), The God I know leads me in paths of righteousness. Follow While I'm Waiting on WordPress.com. Does life ever get to be too much for you and you just feel like throwing in the towel or catching the nearest bus bound for sun and fun? After taking some time to recover from losing our sons, recently Janet and I started a tradition of meeting once a year for a weekend. On Thursday evening, Mike and I were in the stands at Colby's football game. It was a time of excitement, laughter, and happiness, and it left us with a lot of fond memories. His eyes were improving, and he was starting to swallow again. Chandler wanted a simple wedding at home with just a few close family members. It was miserable for both TJ and the caregiver. Travis installed beautiful, dark laminate floors which would make cleanup of TJ’s food and drink messes easy since TJ was a slob. We visited for a while and were sad when it was time to tell our friends goodbye and go to our next appointment. There are moments of laughter and joy and moments of pain and sorrow. TJ’s sense of humor was also back in full force. Later in the day, the pediatric psychiatrist and a resident came by like they often did a couple times a week. While jumping on a bus may sound like a good idea sometimes, it may end up causing you greater problems in the long run. This is already hard enough, and you don’t need to make it any harder.”. China was the trip destination TJ chose for his wish from Make-A-Wish. To my surprise, there was a very large owl perched on the fence that borders the northern side of our property. However, her father and I instinctively knew that this was the end. It was the perfect space for a teenage boy. John Waller. We were standing in the hallway just outside TJ’s door when the doctor asked how TJ was doing. During intubation, his lungs had been over inflated, and the increased pressure blew holes into his lungs. And when she tried to clean him on the left side, he moved to the right. A few days later, I finally introduced myself. I never asked him why he was so upset, but I believed it was because the days of them being kids together was over. After our meeting, Janet quickly became my closest friend at the hospital. His arms were twisting into strange positions, and his walking was getting worse. Doctors thought his eyes would recover but would take up to a year. 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